I

6

June 6, 1998

Dan, I

definitely is the place the terminal stage. I think the biggest lesson I learn >> << are end-stage enhances all

handle or not handle mechanisms we have already accrued. So if fear is a big part of my >> << sense CF, becomes >> << FEAR in an end

, through so much shortness of breath after mild exertion or even just sitting

If the guilt that I live, it is

.

fault you rpm in mind everything you have done or not done to bring

your body to a soft place.

If the "positive image of themselves, but if you look

able-bodied" is that part of your mind set, then hate themselves are going to look

you in the mirror, you see the tube hanging nose

or sit in a chair-stretchers. Damn it, I come Reverand

Adina! What

I am trying to express what I feel it just as important to our emotional self

moods and our physical self. There is

reality for many of us, no matter how much exercise we do, we choosy

with caution CF, light still wear down and eventually we become more

disabled . So where I say screw guilt. I cared

themselves, swimming, treatment, ITT, before I got to the terminal stage, but even when I

potravlennymi, I was a high quality of life, and it is most important. I

remember reading an essay by Paul Black in IACFA. It was for me a shining example. After a few years older, more disabled than me, but this spirit,

,

humor, I was convinced that she is invincible. Each time the question of profit

I can not wait to break it open and read the latest adventures Paula >> << and words of wisdom. Then, several years later, she died and I realized

matter how good

reasonable, common sense, even the health conscious we are, this disease still ends

our lives prematurely. Being good has nothing to do with living longer. Sometimes its genetics, luck, some aggressive care (but not always!). When I first came back to the real end-stage in December, I was so full of fear. I was sure that soon die and actually wanted a bit, because the idea

being so disconnected, it seemed inappropriate. Thank God it has been, and now lives

with severe disabilities are much more tolerant. It is a challenge, and >> << is why let fear, guilt, and being good like a wheelchair / oxygen

gallon site is crucial. I still cry about my loss, my dependence on others. But

I made a space where my new body and life

is a good place to be. I also know that when I can not catch my breath

I can choose and say, enough to have a good death, I deserve

, (at home, with friends, sitting on a big wave of love and

morphine). Yes I know

This will get you through this in the future, the club really terminally

not a bad place to hang. We have an ice cold beer

, << Home >> salsa and rockabilly music on ........ Be careful Adina

June 9, 1998

Hi Janice, >>

<< One of the generous gifts of Aspergillus infection is coughing up blood. This may be the cause >> << bleeding, or you can simply >> << infection to be ITT or you might simply too much coughing and broken capillary or fill >> << empty. If it gets much worse

,

you should probably check with your document, but it so often cough

a little blood now and then, most people do not >> << 't

voltage on it. I totally agree with drinking cold water, put the ice pack

on the breast to reduce it. By the way, what are you doing

manage Aspergillus? I take Sporanox daily, and it seems

help, I do not re-cultivated it. Be careful,

June11, 1998

Hey

I got a terrible call from my transplant coordinator, who says: "I'm sorry

Adina, but through a certain resistance bacteria we

you are not active. "What I did not expect that it was not because

bacteria, no, can not be so easy. Instead, they found three XC VCC

yeast strains, with the numbers 100. (Normally ten)

For some reason I have enough to open a bakery there, and then some.

, Fu news is that I should >> << breath amphotericin, aka

amphoterrible, twice a day, and I heard you can make light tight,

as if I had not

problems enough. The good news is that if I do it, and it works, its only a month. I do not know what else, but man, sometimes the terminal stage of this resistance. I still have fight in me to assume this new regime, but sadly >> << to my body more and more

fall apart. I feel that I'm unstable roof during torrential rains

patches from the origins of gaping everywhere I lasix drug for cats turn. New light mean >> << new roof can be. But until then, I'll be home from ITT this week, inhaling

, amphoterrible and hope the sun keeps shining, as I return to the world that work

"on the roof." Last >> << thing

I was thinking that too rapid growth of yeast in the lungs may be associated with a high sugar >> << I was especially

with Megace (which I stopped doing my diabetes out of control). Although I

No yeast infection or thrush, I thought that the adoption of more

acidophillus or other products

, candidiasis may help. Who else was overgrowth of yeast in the lungs and use natural supplements

matter with him? Thanks

everything. Be careful Adina

June 19.1998 This Adina'a

best friend Fred and Adina wants all know that she gets

die her way and she is happy and healthy as any baby's death could be. She decided not to go to the hospital to deal with her lungs and fungus

became clear that

in 3 days of Sats oxygen was at 10 liters, and it was only saturation in the

to mid 80's. Her mucus was incredibly connected, and it is less

and less able to breath. But she hopes to soon with hits

morphine, old-time hippie girl that she is ........ She even encouraging

your friends to share their new found happiness with her drugs. And most of us do

. She said: "I get high with a little help of my friends." Seriously,

want to thank all of cystic

l and Connell for their comments and support, she became more alive disabled

see. with. Please note that it is in the world. She is glad that she

authorized to death. It was dictated by me to you ADINA

all who in the end manages boss people around and tell us that

do for her! June 22.1998

Today was a beautiful day in Berkeley, California. Adina died at 2:20 pm was in her room

where she wrote you all a lot >> << times. It

died at the hands of my friend's sweet Angie, holding the hand 15

year old son Justin in spirit, with her husband

Phil held her legs, her friend and my husband Mark at her side and, looking

, me in the eye. We were all blessed

witnessed her life and her spirit, and shared in her incredible love. It

died her way, she finally got what she wanted

her death. I happened to read a lot of your letters to her

before she died. She will be buried in a coffin

her friend Mark built for her at her request, and that all her friends

decorated as it is directed. I

calligraphy quotes in her coffin, at his request, I send it to you:

"Love

of God does not allow you to access the other hand, does not catch you. "Funeral

Adina to be on Tuesday, 6/23/98 at 1

ã west

View Cemetery, 101 Colusa Avenue in El Cerrito, California. She will be with you

you do it or not. .